


Flowers For You

by wtfisgoingonanymore



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Good Morgana (Merlin), Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Sad, Unrequited Love, but not really, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:00:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26122369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wtfisgoingonanymore/pseuds/wtfisgoingonanymore
Summary: When a new knight arrives and starts cozying up with his servant, Arthur presents Merlin with flowers.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 211





	Flowers For You

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so first off-  
> I haven't written in a LONG time so bare with me if it isn't that good xDD.
> 
> Secondly, I wanna thank my love and my angel, highfunctioning-clotpole for all her love and support and motivation <3 
> 
> Thirdly, I wanna thank meteorjam for being the one to pick me back up and motivate me into writing again by being such an inspirational person who loves to do things with a passion. <3

Arthur was the masculine type. As Gwen would put it, he was the rough, tough, save-the-world kind of guy. His favorite presents were anything sharp or useful for war. Flowers were the kind of gifts he gave -not received. That's why, no matter what Merlin says, he was absolutely not jealous of the flowers Merlin got for Morgana or Gwen or Gwaine. Arthur was just teasing Merlin for being such a girl about it.

And if he was jealous, then it was just because Merlin never got Arthur anything in all the time that they have been together. But he was not -in any way- jealous of the flowers Merlin is exchanging with the newest knighted commoner from Ealdor. 

He does not glare at the two when they laugh together at some inside joke they share. He does not hit harder during training when he notices Merlin and the knight sneaking off to god knows where, giggling, and doing god knows what. He is not hard on that knight when he sees Merlin smiling fondly at the knight. And he did not send that knight to a long trip far away from the castle when he noticed that he and Merlin haven't spent much time with each other since that knight was knighted in the first place.

He was not jealous. He didn't care. The ache in his chest was nothing when he saw Merlin light up and rush to greet his new partner from his long trip. He didn't feel breathless when Merlin left his side quickly to chat with that blasted knight. 

At least, that's what he told himself when he woke up that night and practically coughed up his lungs only to get a single camellia petal for his efforts. 

Hanahaki was not a common disease. The kind of love it takes for one to develop Hanakahi was rare -especially for someone who does possess any magic. Such love was one of the strongest in existence -which is why the death it causes is one of the most painful experiences in the world. 

Arthur only knew of the disease from his lessons with Gaius as a child. As per Uther's instructions, Gaius taught Arthur all the deaths and pains that were tied to magic. And while Arthur usually toned out all of Gaius' teachings, Hanahaki fascinated him. To die of so much love for someone you could never be with seemed like the most painful way to go. Not even the most potent poison could match the flowers twining around one's lungs and heart -trying to reach out and present to the loved one.

*

*

*

_'This is a problem.'_ Arthur thought to himself when he dropped to the ground and coughed out dozens of camellia petals. Merlin laughing and unsuccessfully sneaking off with the knight coupled with Percival's hit to the stomach during the moment of distraction Arthur had made for a painful expel of petals and droplets of blood. The clench of Arthur's heart was nothing compared to what his lungs were feeling. 

And he knew his knights saw this time. He'd managed to hide it for only two days before people found out. He was hoping he could've had at least until after they come home from their visit to Camlann he was required to go to.

"Sire, are you okay? What was that?" He heard Leon speak and felt his hand on his shoulder.

"It was nothing." His voice was husky and his mouth tasted of flowers "It was nothing, and we are to never speak of it again."

"Are you kidding me, princess? You vomited flowers. That's something we should be talking about." Gwaine exclaimed and took a handful to let it flutter in front of Arthur's face as if he needed a reminder.

"It is not, and that is an order." Arthur tried to speak as firmly as he could, but he spotted Merlin coming and looking all worried at the sight of the knights surrounding the king.

"Clean this mess up before anyone else sees." He spoke before shakily standing and walking off to his room before he could hear or see anything else.

*

*

*

Morgana and Gwen found out next. 

Merlin was chatting on and on about his latest escapade with his new amazing best friend. Merlin talked on and on about how much fun he had and what they would be doing again later today and then again this week. Meanwhile, Arthur struggled to breathe as the stems wrapped around his lungs tighter and bloomed more flowers. He barely managed to hold it by the time Merlin finally left in a rush to go meet with his new friend.

Arthur dry heaved this time. The pain was somehow worse than the last. He knew something needed to go out, but for some reason, it didn't. To make things worse than it already is, Arthur could feel the stems squeezing at his lungs -puncturing it and his chest with every heave. 

He understood why after the 5th attempt. He looked on weakly at the new flower -redder than it was supposed to be- before he spat out more and more and more. 

When they found him, Morgana gasped and Gwen cried at the sight of the golden king surrounded in blood-covered roses.

*

*

*

Surprisingly, things only got worse when Merlin took notice of Arthur's silent hurting. The object of his affection dropped even his precious time with his lover to try and reach out to Arthur. It made the king feel guilty rather than happy or relieved.

Arthur overheard Merlin excuse himself from spending time with his knight because

_'Something's wrong with Arthur, and he won't tell me.'_

_'Just ask him?'_

_'He keeps pushing me away.'_

_'Hey...that shouldn't stop the Great Merlin of Ealdor."_

_'Hm...'_

_"It'll be fine, Merly. I promise."_

And Merlin let him be wrapped in the knight's arm. He let himself rest his head on the shoulder of this man -let the knight run his hand through Merlin's hair and call him cute nicknames.

Frankly, it was just too intimate for Arthur -too much. 

The roses within him kept trying to reach out and show itself to Merlin, and Arthur barely reached his room before the roses came out. This time they came out in front of the knights and the ladies that awaited him. 

Morgana immediately rushed towards him and took him into her arms with Gwen following behind her. In the arms of the women, Arthur gasped for air as he tried to fight against the flowers that wanted release. The knights surrounded him in worry. Percival, who was soft and kind despite his intimidating size, along with Leon, his childhood friend, and stoic brother in all but blood, were in tears at the sight of their king. Gwaine looked down at him in pity and empathy -his own unrequited love for Merlin looking minuscule compared to this. Elyan tried to hold them all together and be strong for everyone, but even he was no match for the aching pain of his king. 

That night, the king of Camelot threw up a dozen bloodstained roses in the arms and comfort of his most treasured friends.

*

*

*

_"You have to tell him, Arthur! You can't die like this!_ " Morgana yelled at him before he left to visit Camlann

_"Arthur, you need to at least try. Things are getting worse. What will happen when you're gone? This kingdom needs you."_ Gwen did too.

_"Sire...I really think you should tell Merlin. Maybe it might help? Maybe it will go away? Or at least maybe he could help somehow?"_ The knights each tried during the travel.

_"...I respect you, Arthur. I know you're doing this for Merlin's sake -the whole secret thing. It's not cause you're scared that he doesn't love you. It's so much more than that."_ Even Gwaine. He was the most helpful actually.

_"...I don't want him to think that he caused my death._ " Gwaine was the first to get Arthur to speak since that night.

_"I know, sire. And you're a great man for it_." It was nice to feel understood.

_"Sooo...are you ever gonna tell me what's wrong? I haven't seen you smile in two weeks and you haven't spoken to me in a whole month."_ Merlin tried to talk to him too.

_"Two months,"_ Arthur seemed to have made the mistake of responding. _A_

_"What?"_

_"It's been two months since you spoke to me properly."_

_"Has it?"_

_"No."_

_"But you just said...?"_

_"It's been two months, two weeks, and five days."_

_"You...You've been counting?"_

_"Apparently."_

_"I...I'm sorry. I guess I've been so caught up with Eric arriving and becoming a knight. It's just been so long since I had someone who-"_

Arthur didn't hear what was after that. He couldn't. The day had finally arrived. 

Arthur hurriedly got off his horse with the knights following close behind him. The roses slipped out easier this time -the blood seeming to be enough to ease the way out of his body. There was no sense of sight, sound, or touch for Arthur as he staggered to the open field -far away from Merlin. Behind him was a trail of roses and blood that eventually came to a stop when Arthur threw up a combination of roses and camellia -threw up all his longing and love for Merlin.

He felt the stems growing steadfast up his throat -the rose thorns pricking everything they touched. He remembers collapsing onto the bed of his roses and laying back as he awaited the last flower to crawl out of him and end his suffering. That was when his senses returned for the last time.

He could hear Merlin sobbing and yelling for Arthur to wake up -yelling at everyone for not telling him sooner. He could feel Merlin trembling as he held Arthur gentle and firm at the same time -just like he always does whenever Arthur was near death.

"Come on, Arthur, Stay with me. I can fix this. I promise I can." 

"Merlin, we can't. It's too late. It's too late."

"No."

"All your magic, Merlin, can't save my life.

"I can. I'm not going to lose you." Merlin struggles to stand. He's still trying to save his king.

"Just, just hold me. Please." Merlin has always been weak to the king's wishes. 

"There's something I want to say..."

"You're not going to say goodbye."

"No, Merlin...I want...I couldn't have been the man I am without you. You've made me and so many others in Camelot the happiest we’ve ever been. For that, I thank you.”

"You'd have done it without me."

"Maybe." He wouldn't. Arthur wanted to say more, but he could taste the rose in his tongue. 

"I want to say...something I've never said to you before..." Arthur turns his head to look up at the man he is so in love with, to memorize for the last time the soft dark hair and the crystal blue eyes. He smiles lightly as he reaches out and finally lets himself run his hand through Merlin's hair. 

_"I love you."_

Arthur took in his last shaky breath as the stem inside of him squeezed out the last of his air and the last pump of his heart to fuel the last stretch of the rose out of his mouth and to Merlin's eyes.

Time slowed down even as Arthur's life flashed before his eyes. He smiled inwardly and watched it slowly play out every moment of his life since the beginning of Merlin -the only important moments of his life.

Arthur let himself smile and shut his eyes to finally let peace take over him. He took a deep breath before slipping into the dark.

*

*

*

_"Oh god please let it be enough."_

_"The flower is gone, so it must be! Even the stems on his throat are gone"_

_"Are we too late?"_

_"No!! It can't be! Arthur...Arthur, you clotpole, wake up. Please. Please, I love you. Oh god, I love you so much, Arthur. Please please wake up. I love you. Please."_


End file.
